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編輯推薦: |
人生本来就是多姿多彩的,生活的面貌时时刻刻都会不同。这一切都在告诉我们学着改变自己的重要,这也告诉我们只有改变自己,才会更好地适应这个绚烂多彩的社会。改变自己就是改变自己的缺点,改变自己就改变自己落后的一面!面对未来的人生,我们要有努力改变自己的勇气,还要有努力改变自己的决心,让我们的人生,充满活力。人生的十字路口,没有红绿灯,你所要做的,只能勇敢前行,在不如意的人生里改变自己!
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內容簡介: |
人的一生总会遇到许多不如意,当我们无力去改变周遭的环境和自己的境遇时,试着改变自己吧,改变自己的内心,改变自己的观念,改变自己的态度,或许,你的人生也就跟着改变了。
这是一本让你认清现实、审视自己、改变自己,从而添加人生助力的实用之书。它能够帮助渴望改变、渴望成功的人找到路径,让你从意识、心态、思维上做出真正的改变,从而创造出梦想的人生。
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關於作者: |
闫江华,男,字淑全,出生于1966年,山西万荣县乌停人,自由学者。毕业于云南大学人文学院,本科学历,自幼酷爱国学文化,致力于国学的传承与探讨。专注于对人生的目的、价值、意义、态度等人生哲学的研究和探讨。现任北京人文国学院青年励志培训基地特邀老师,章如庚慈善基金会副理事长,北京复源文化传播有限公司董事长。出版著作《让大江流再回头》《做个会说话会做事的智慧女人》《九型人格心理学》等。
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目錄:
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第1章 在不如意的人生里,奋起直追 ············································· 1
如果无法改变环境,那就改变自己 ··········································· 2
在自己不喜欢的岗位上做一个发光体 ········································ 4
学会在平淡中品味人生 ·························································· 6
无法决定出身,可以提升自己 ················································· 9
自信是人生与事业的敲门砖 ···················································11
什么地步要破罐子破摔 ·························································14
让自己脱颖而出的秘诀 ·························································16
与其抱怨不公,不如争取认可 ················································18
第2章 换一个形象,让自己充满活力魅力 ······································21
好的形象暗示好的开端 ·························································22
穿衣打扮显示你的品位 ·························································24
化妆让自己充满自信 ····························································26
腹有诗书气自华 ··································································28
魅力来自内在的修养 ····························································31
注重细节能为你的形象加分 ···················································33
恰当言谈为自己加分 ····························································35
行为方式显示你的个性 ·························································38
第3章 换一种心情,和郁闷的现状说再见 ······································41
带着快乐的心情开始一天的工作 ·············································42
烦恼有时不过是庸人自扰 ······················································44
人比人气死人的简单道理 ······················································47
学会倾诉,才能更好地释放心情 ·············································49
学会遗忘,才能更好地适应现在 ·············································52
常怀感恩,快乐长存 ····························································54
退一步的人生智慧 ·······························································56
带着微笑接受批评 ·······························································59
第4章 换一种态度,用努力迎来机遇 ············································63
摆正心态,才能找准自己的位置 ·············································64
告诉自己责任重于一切 ·························································66
世上最怕“认真”二字 ·························································68
热情地工作才能得到回报 ······················································70
不断进取的人永远不会被淘汰 ················································73
半途而废是最大的失败 ·························································75
专心的人才能爬到事业的顶峰 ················································77
忠诚永远是老板最看重的品质 ················································80
肯吃亏的人才是真正大智慧的人 ·············································82
第5章 换一种习惯,成功绝非偶然 ···············································85
做个事事有计划的人 ····························································86
今日事今日毕的魔力 ····························································88
要奉献,也要会表现 ····························································91
有序的生活从整洁的办公桌开始 ·············································93
要不断充电才能适应社会的节奏 ·············································96
即使是小事也要尽力做到最好 ················································98
如果你心动,那就赶快行动 ················································· 100
会工作,也要会休闲 ·························································· 103
第6章 换一种思维,思路决定出路 ············································· 107
让自己像老板一样思考 ······················································· 108
多一个朋友,就少一个对手 ················································· 110
看轻金钱,金钱才会看重你 ················································· 112
不陷害别人,但也要小心陷阱 ·············································· 114
不做职场的“差不多”先生 ················································· 117
换位思考可以带给你另一番天地 ··········································· 119
被利用未免不是一件幸事 ···················································· 121
找借口,不如寻方法 ·························································· 124
第7章 换一种性格,释放你的才华 ············································· 127
改变性格,让自己更受欢迎 ················································· 128
学会尊重每一个人 ····························································· 130
赞美他人可以带给你意想不到的好处 ····································· 133
争强好胜,最后输的是自己 ················································· 135
管好自己的嘴,比什么都重要 ·············································· 138
别让自己成为办公室的异类 ················································· 141
别让自己陷入帮派之争 ······················································· 143
敢于梦想,才有未来 ·························································· 145
第8章 换一种姿态,让自己气场强大 ·········································· 149
拥有一颗谦逊的心 ····························································· 150
低头并不是低人一等 ·························································· 152
是金子总会有发光的时候 ···················································· 154
尊重自己的上司 ································································ 157
成就他人等于成就自己 ······················································· 159
多用耳朵,少用嘴 ····························································· 161
尊重对手就是成全自己 ······················································· 164
第9章 换一种观念,成功者拥有明智思维 ···································· 167
没有人喜欢斤斤计较的人 ···················································· 168
多付出一些,就会多收获一些 ·············································· 170
要乐于提携新人 ································································ 172
倚老卖老,老无所依 ·························································· 175
你会拿自己开玩笑吗 ·························································· 177
偶尔的小错误会让别人更接纳你 ··········································· 180
哪些“黑锅”该由你来背 ···················································· 183
不妨藏起你的小聪明 ·························································· 185
第10章 换一种方法,选对人生的钥匙 ········································ 189
做得多,不如做得巧 ·························································· 190
大智若愚,有时不妨装装傻 ················································· 192
不要一条道走到黑 ····························································· 194
不妨向你的对手学习 ·························································· 197
反其道而行之令人豁然开朗 ················································· 199
敢于创新才能开辟新天地 ···················································· 202
第11章 换一个角度,看透事事正反面 ········································ 205
第一次就把事情做对 ·························································· 206
双赢,才能建立最稳固的关系 ·············································· 208
嫉妒是一把双刃剑 ····························································· 210
上司需要的是不远不近的距离 ·············································· 213
压力是对你的一种考验 ······················································· 215
放下架子,早一步迈出框框 ················································· 217
牢记将欲取之,必先予之 ···················································· 219
居安思危,才能高枕无忧 ···················································· 222
第12章 换一种活法,人生会有另一番精彩 ·································· 225
积累金钱,不如积累经验 ···················································· 226
知难而退未必就是怯懦 ······················································· 228
聪明的人要学会适时放弃 ···················································· 230
患得患失,做人好累 ·························································· 232
忙碌着,并快乐着 ····························································· 235
独乐乐,不如众乐乐 ·························································· 237
让自己成为不可取代之人 ···················································· 240
把不良情绪及时宣泄出来 ···················································· 242
广交朋友,生命将会更加精彩 ·············································· 245
参考文献 ··············································································· 248
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內容試閱:
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第 1 章 在不如意的人生里,奋起直追
生活中,常常有这样一些人:他们不满足于自己的现状——无论是生活还是工作上的——但却不知道如何去改变。他们不停地埋怨:埋怨出身,上天没有给他们一个好的爹娘;埋怨领导,没有识珠的慧眼,令自己才华埋没;埋怨命运,看着别人过上富
裕的生活,自己却依然一贫如洗……他们每日生活在苦闷与烦恼之中,却忘了既然无法决定现状,那么不如改变自己。改变自己的心态、性格、心情、素质、习惯与思想,你会发现原来生活并不像原先所想象的那样灰暗。你的命运掌握在自己的手中,如果你无法改变社会和他人,那么就从改变自己做起吧!
如果无法改变环境,那就改变自己
人是一种群居动物,人的社会属性决定了人无法脱离社会环境而生活、存在。社会环境包括政治经济制度、文化传统以及人际交往关系,每个人都渴望拥有一个良好的环境——生活舒心、工作顺心,然而人生在世,不如意之事十之八九,但是个人的力量是微小的,往往无法改变甚至无法决定自己所处的环境,因此就生出了人生和事业的种种不如意,并随之产生了种种消极的心态与思想:要么长吁短叹、自怨自艾;要么愤世嫉俗、对事事都看不顺眼;甚至还有人更加偏激,采用极端的手段报复社会,最终使自己走上不归之路。这样的人都是生活和事业的失败者,他们的失败就在于不知变通:既然环境无法改变,那么为何不换一条路走——改变自己呢?
一棵被狂风刮倒的大树问小草:“我比你强壮千百倍,为何依然无法抵抗狂风的肆虐,而你那么柔弱,却可以在风暴中安然无恙?”小草回答:“因为狂风刮过的时候,我顺着风势改变自己,而你却依仗自己强壮,拼命抵抗。”生活中,像大树一样的人比比皆是,他们无法适应环境的变化,不知道改变自己,要么终日郁郁寡欢、自暴自弃,要么处处与社会作对,最终落到被社会所遗弃的下场。而像小草一样的人却知道审时度势、善于变通,知道无法改变环境来适应自己,那么就不如改变自己以适
应环境,他们才是真正的强者。这是自然界和人类社会所共有的万古不变的规律——适者生存。只有能够适应社会的人,才能在瞬息万变的社会中站稳脚跟,不被淘汰。也只有能够根据环境灵活改变自己的人,才能真正找到生活与工作的快乐、心灵的安宁。
一位家庭主妇跟着当兵的丈夫来到沙漠深处的军营生活。每当部队外出演习时,主妇就只能一个人待在闷热的铁皮屋子里。然而比闷热更让人无法忍受的是周围的邻居全是墨西哥人和印第安人,在她的眼里,他们都是粗俗无知的土著人,不会说英语,也无法和她沟通与交流。过了一段时间,主妇再也无法忍受这样的生活,写信给自己的父母,说无论如何都要回家去。
父亲的回信只有两行:“两个犯人从监狱的铁窗望出去,一个看到的是泥土,一个看到的是星星。”而这两行字却完全改变了她的生活。她决心在沙漠里找到属于自己的星星。于是她尝试着与当地人交流,并努力与他们成为朋友。他们也用热情回报了她的友善——他们将自己最喜欢、从不舍得卖给游客的纺织品与陶器送给她;当地的土著人教给她关于土拨鼠的知识;他们把自己的语言传授给她,同时也向她学习英语……她也开始研究沙漠中的仙人掌以及其他植物,发现原来它们是如此令人着迷。她的生活充满了乐趣,原本令人难以忍受的环境如今竟变成了令人流连忘返的人间仙境。她为自己所发现的新世界兴奋不已,根据这段经历,她写成了一本书,书名就叫做《快乐城堡》。而她自己也一举成名,从一个默默无闻的家庭主妇成为一个广受欢迎的畅销书作者。
每个人的心中都有一个自我,都希望事事称心、处处如意,但是周围的环境——人和事却往往不会按自己的意愿而发展,也无法随自己的心意而改变,那么在这种郁闷与苦恼的时候,就不妨改变自我,令自己去适应周围的环境,而不要强求环境来适应自己。要知道,这个世界并非只有你一人,地球也不是为你一个而转动。你无法主宰他人,但是你却可以主宰自己。就像上文中的家庭主妇,沙漠没有变,周围的人也没有变,改变的是她自己,但是她改变了,一切就都随之发生了变化。她找到了属于自己的星星,找到了快乐和成功,而这一切都是在改变自己的基础上所得到的。
这是一个飞速发展的时代,与其自怨自艾地做一个社会的弃儿,不如振作精神改变自己、提升自我,以便更好地适应社会与潮流。正如《古兰经》中所说的:“如果你叫山走过来,山不过来,那你就走过去。”如果你总是等待环境和他人来适应你、迁就你,那么你最终等到的只会是一场空。所以,企图改变环境,不如改变自己;妄想改变他人,也不如改变自己。变则通,通则灵,只有明白这个道理的人,才是现代社会真正的强者,才能在时代的潮流中永远立于不败之地。
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